The other day I had a client coming in for individual counselling and as she shared with me several aspects of her life, I realized that she did not have any family support. As informed, she had a loving husband and a wonderful four-year-old son but that was it. They had almost non-existent relationships with their extended family and thus, the feeling of insecurity and lack of warmth in their lives. If one took a look at their lives it was perfect! A nice little nuclear family with well paying jobs and a house at a nice residential area. The son attended one of the prestigious schools of the city. Did they need more?
But what if one took a closer look? Were they happy, contented with their lives? The answer was a resounding NO. They had no family around them. There was too much of ill feeling and jealousy amongst the family members. No one was happy with the success of the other...
There have been several occasions in the course of my psychological counselling career that I have come across people with organized lives but they had no family support around them. Thus they were unhappy.
What is life finally? Isnít it fulfilling, enriching relationships? Everyone works, gets married, and brings up children but what makes some peopleís lives better and more fulfilling than others? Is it money? Fame? I feel if one has enriching, supportive relationships thatís the best way for your life to be. Finally, we need the approval of people around us. Be it family or friends, no one can live in isolation. I have seen people with highly successful lives but failing to have family support for whatever reasons. Though they grin, bear it all and go on. There is but a faint hope in their hearts that maybe someday things will change and life will be different. Also I have seen families come closer because of lack of family support from extended members. That is also one way of living if not the best. It is usually observed that the people for whom you do the most donít appreciate you the most. That is one of the realities of life that I have had to accept the hard way. But that is one of the truths of life! I am sure many of you will be able to relate to it.
Life is but empty without relationships in it. But many of us have to live this way. The best way we could choose to move forward is hold on to whoever we have with us. I have seen many families bond together within themselves due to lack of other relationships in their lives. That is one of the best things one could do. Stay close no matter what and things shall work out the best it can!
[The writer is a psychiatric counsellor.]